The Bureau of Glow Eligibility
You can't buy The Alibi. You earn it.
The Alibi is sold one way: through the Bureau. File one Good Errand and you're cleared to purchase from Founders Batch 001 (300 units, ever).
The Good Errand — pick one
- FEED — volunteer an hour with a food bank, pantry, or meal program.
- CLEAN — join (or run) a cleanup: park, beach, block, trailhead.
- VISIT — spend real time with someone who needs company: a senior center, a neighbor, a veteran.
Do all three and the Bureau records a Full Pilgrimage — your name goes on the Founders Wall.
How to file
Email catbrothersops@gmail.com with subject BUREAU FILING: tell us what you did, where, and roughly when. A photo helps but isn't required. A human reads every filing within 24 hours. Cleared citizens receive a private purchase invoice — $19.99, free US shipping.
Medical patients: skip the line
If you're a legal medical cannabis patient, you're cleared already — email the same address with subject PATIENT FAST LANE. We don't ask for records, cards, or proof. Ever.
The covenant
Your clearance stays good as long as one Good Errand happens every five years. This is enforced by nobody and honored by everyone — that's the point.
I'm not saying. It's glowing.